Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
