My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
