It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
