Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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