I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
