me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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