when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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