Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
