Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just pee around me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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