No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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