Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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