Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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