In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
