But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
