i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
