Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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