Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry about my life...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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