so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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