She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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