He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
