On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
