Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
MIDGETS
????
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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