She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize