I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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