So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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