we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I intend to get homeless drunk
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
