I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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