I'm really into asian looking animals
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
