I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
