Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize