No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
