i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
