dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
