So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
