Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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