it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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