Buhtt sex?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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