This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
