I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize