i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
