Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
