gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
