Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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