dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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