RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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