I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
