Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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