why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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