I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you would pick up someone in the library
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
