is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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