Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
