Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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