Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My room smells like vodka and shame
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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