"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
