I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize