I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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