There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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