Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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