His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
