you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
