I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
