It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
