Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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