the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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