i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
