Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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