We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
