I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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