Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
