the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
